Sloth shouldn't be a cardinal sin

I am tired and lazy, and don't feel like writing anything, because I was up at 6am to go over to one of my old clients to help them get ready for an early appointment for 7:30 am. By the way, I am probably the best person you know. I am so tired now though, 10pm bedtime for me.

I am going to give selections from my story "The Wonderful Captain McGinty"

This is kind of the middle section of this story, e-mail me for the whole thing.

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Richard McGinty had been in Afghanistan for six months during the height of the violence, and this was only his third time on a foot patrol; He also had yet to discharge his firearm. They were patrolling a street in Kabul when McGinty heard shots being fired several streets over. He quickly ordered his squad to fall back and return to base. Doing this, he inadvertently may have saved his entire squad, as at the same moment, a roadside bomb was detonated where they would have been, had they continued marching forward. Despite the fact that McGinty purely acted on cowardice, he was seen as a hero who by some magical sixth sense had anticipated the bomb, acting quickly to save his squad. There were even reports that McGinty had thrown himself in front of the blast to shield his squad, though these were largely due to the fact that it was very dusty, and hard to see much of anything. This was due to the simple fact that McGinty was crossing in front of his squad when the bomb exploded, to run back to base. In the blast only McGinty and one other member of his squad were injured. The lack of further casualties was directly attributed to McGinty’s skill as a commander.

Initially, McGinty was ecstatic with this turn of events. He was in a hospital, far away from any shooting, he wasn’t hurt too badly, and they had presented him with a medal for bravery and given him some sort of promotion. He also assumed that he would be able to return home to Canada because of his injury. Unfortunately, the doctor assured him that he was “very lucky”, and that his injury could have easily been more serious. He was returned to active service three weeks after the incident, with the undying respect of his entire squad.

When he returned things were very different: Because of his promotion, and the loss of several other officers due to injury, McGinty was now in charge of an entire infantry division, consisting of ten squads of soldiers. This new role pleased him immensely, as it required him to be in the field even less than he had managed as squad commander. McGinty gained the respect of his fellow officers under his command almost solely due to the fact that he really knew very little of military strategy, and thus continually deferred to junior officers in every possible case. Their own common sense was attributed to McGinty’s “excellence” and “wisdom” as a commanding officer. One of McGinty’s only actual orders was the withdrawing all troops in the field back to the base on a particular day, because it was “so dangerous” out there. This resulted in Taliban forces killing and wounding several of their own men in blasts intended for Canadian troops. This manoeuvre became known as the “McGinty Feint” in military circles, and is generally considered one of the greatest military manoeuvres ever executed.

The second event in which he gained great renown occurred in one of the only times Richard McGinty had ventured into the field as Division Commander. It was purely by necessity that he was out at all: A major action was underway involving all of McGinty’s squads, so there was really no other place for him. He had insisted that he be in an armoured vehicle for the outing, and was naturally given one. It was on his way down a deserted street, following two of his squads closely, when a group of Taliban soldiers opened fire on them from the end of the street, scattering his squad for cover. Despite the fact that he was inside an armoured vehicle and at no risk from the small arms being fired at them, McGinty quickly lost control of himself. Screaming, he grabbed the controls from the driver of the vehicle, and attempted to steer the vehicle away from the fighting toward a side road, that would lead back to base.

As soon as he had seized the controls from the confused man, in the middle of sharply veering the vehicle right, a road mine detonated underneath the armoured vehicle. The explosive had little effect, causing some damage to the underneath of the vehicle and temporarily disabling it. More importantly was what it didn’t do. This was a particularly powerful anti-personnel mine, which would have killed and injured a great deal of the Canadian troops who were in a close proximity of the bomb. However, due to the fact that McGinty had inadvertently driven the armoured vehicle over the bomb and absorbed the lethal explosion, the troops remained unharmed. Fittingly, Richard McGinty was actually the only one injured in this attack.

The events of that day would go down in history as legend, no one being exactly sure of what had happened; the only thing anyone was sure of was that Richard McGinty was a hero. After the fact, Division Commander McGinty was personally attributed as having saved the lives of no fewer than fifty men, despite the fact that there were slightly more than thirty men on the scene. On many international news channels afterward, any soldier who was there (and many who weren’t) would personally claim that the heroic actions of Richard McGinty had saved them, and that for that they owed him their lives. At a time when the conflict in Afghanistan was rapidly losing popular support, Richard McGinty was hailed for single-handedly regaining the Canadian people’s support for the controversial war. All across the country, people could unite over the heroics of this one man, the proud native of their nation’s capital. Shortly after the event, the driver of the armoured vehicle stated that he had “frozen up” at the controls, and Richard McGinty was the only thing that saved them. One of the other crew members present also stated that Richard McGinty had yelled, “Look out, an improvised explosive device!” before taking control of the vehicle. This statement has yet to be confirmed by anyone else present. The whole aftermath of this was very confusing to Richard, who received a great deal of attention in the forms of medals, promotions, declarations, press interviews and letters from grateful relatives, calling him their “saviour” and a “true hero”. The injuries that Richard sustained were relatively minor, including small pieces of shrapnel in the stomach and his leg, although there were unofficial reports that Richard was paralyzed and had by sheer force of will regained the use of his legs.

Upon his return to Canada, Richard was greeted with a true hero’s welcome. In Ottawa, a national holiday was declared. A ceremony was held at the Parliament buildings, with over two million people attending as the Prime minister welcomed Richard home and thanked him on behalf of the country. The Governor-General welcomed McGinty into the order of Canada, and in a now-famous picture spontaneously kneeled in front of Richard McGinty and kissed his hand.